Having been inspired by Deirdre’s pal Westy’s quest to accomplish “30 things to do before 30”, I have decided to fight the “can’t be arsed” urges, get up off my bot and do some shizzle.
Alas, I am already 30. And a bit more than that. So we’ll aim for 40. Gulp!
This list is a work in progress, so bear with me while Stavros and I come up with 40 things for us to do (either together or between us) before turning 40. Stavros has a head start on me and will be 40 in 2017, so I propose to see how it goes and if we manage it by then that would be very nice.
If not, we’ll aim for my big four oh in 2020. Did you know that on a Thursday night I used to pretend I was going to youth club but instead drink kiwi flavoured 2020 on the Rec? You do now.
I had a look at a few examples of 40 things to do before you’re 40 and I must say I was disappointed in how, erm, “middle aged” the goals sounded.
Things like “get in the car and just drive” – I sometimes get lost on the way to work, so I do that regularly. That’s not exactly a goal, is it? After all, it would probably be more bizarre to “get in the car and not drive”. Just sit there. For ayyyyges.
Other ideas included “let your children decide what’s for dinner”, “change your hair colour”, “re-arrange your furniture” – seriously? Those are someone’s life goals? I am filled with pity. Filled to the brim.
Then there are the things that I’d done by the time I was 30 (I’d actually done a load of them by 20, I was adventurous in my teens).
“Go camping in your back yard”, “stay in a hostel”, “go clay pigeon shooting”, “take ballroom dancing lessons”, “go to the opera”, “take surf lessons”, “go horse-riding on the beach” – done it all already, y’all.
So here goes with what I fancy doing by the time I am 40:
- Go on a TV gameshow (and hopefully win something)
- Get a letter published in a national newspaper and not just the Chorley Guardian
- Cook every single recipe from a cookbook. Even if that includes cakes (I don’t do baking. I do cake-buying).
- Get arrested. Hmm, on second thoughts….I’ll replace this with something beer-related
- Both of us will lose enough weight to be in the “normal” range of BMI (haha!).
- Climb a tree that is taller than me (needing to be rescued by the fire brigade is optional)
- Give blood. This is a biggy for Stavros. He has been known to faint at the sight of raw bacon.
- Finish the House of Hooks (haha!)
- Go to the Tomatina festival. Squish!
- Go to San Francisco (we have already been but we slept for an entire day of our three day trip, so we didn’t see much – I’d like to cycle over the Golden Gate Bridge)
- Go ice-skating at the Rockefeller Center. And have a hot chocolate.
- Go on a nudist beach (only after accomplishing point 5 above and possibly breaking the rule about wearing no clothes).
- Get a personalised number plate. I really want one! More than rollerskates.
- Go to Jools Hollands’ Hootenanny.
- See the Northern Lights and have a hot chocolate.
- Go to a civil war re-enactment, but one were they have a hog roast and a shedload of mead/lager and maybe they could have a band on at the end. And a campfire. And hot chocolate. Am I thinking of Glasto?
- Ride a horse wearing a suit of armour. It’d just be long enough for the horse to walk in a circle because I’d be frightened of it doing a trot and ending up with me falling off, needing to be cut out of the suit of armour by a fireman armed with a heavy-duty tin opener.
As you can see I have not yet thought of 40 things and have instead hit random keys on the laptop for the time being.
Stavros did suggest a lot more stuff, but to be honest it was really rude. Unspeakably rude. Unprintable rude. I am ignoring him now.
Maybe I should aim to THINK of 40 things before I’m 40. And then I’ll try to do those 40 things before I’m 50.
That’s perhaps more likely.