No Gentlemen Callers, If You Please

Leave a comment

June 13, 2013 by kitcac

Last year, I slipped into a timewarp and ended up in the 1950s being sold double glazing, even though I had to warm my husband’s slippers. PS you need to read about the slippers before going any further, otherwise you might quite rightly think I’m mad.

I thought my angry email was the end of it. Oh dearie me, no.

The doorstep dude turned up again, even though I was on his Avoid List. I politely told him to Do One and sent him on his way whilst waving a delicately embroidered handkerchief.

Roll on to 2013 and they are ringing us. Oh heck. It isn’t going to end well, is it?

Stavros told me to leave it. I can’t do that, its a compulsion. I tried not to but I got the shakes. And so I wrote to them again:

Dear COMPANY,

Despite being added to your “list of people who do not wish to be contacted due to incidents of sexism and misogyny”, we had another doorstep visit a few weeks after your last email to me.

We have now had a telephone call asking us whether we want a quote because we are on your records as having received a quote last year.

Please explain to me what sort of witchcraft is going on at COMPANY to have enabled you to give us a quote last year when your rep couldn’t be bothered to turn up?

Have you been peeping through our porch to give us the infamous “quote that we do not want for an internal door we do not need”?

I hope you know that peeping through a lady’s porch when her husband isn’t in is against COMPANY’s policy (circa 1954).

In a nutshell, I will never deal with COMPANY. So delete all your info on me from your database, do not ring me and tell your sales reps never to darken my door. Tell them this applies forever, not just till next year (2014 not 1955).

Sincerely hoping that you go away,

KITCAC

All very straightforward, I’m sure you’ll agree.

Not for these dorks though.

They need me to help them out with a few things….

Dear KITCAC,

I will make the relevant Manager aware of your further visit, can you advise which day this was and if you can recall what the Door Canvasser looked like?

We did ask you to confirm the telephone number that you were contacted on previously, however we do not appear to have received this information.  We can block your number if you could pass this on so that our telephone lines cannot reach you, this becomes active within seven working days.

Apologies for the further contact. 

The COMPANY

Pfffffft!

They want me to give them my telephone number! And a description!

What is this, an episode of Columbo?

Dear COMPANY,

The visit was shortly after my last email.  I have attached details of what he looked like.  I want nothing more to do with COMPANY and I certainly don’t want to have to come in for a line-up.

I am not giving you the telephone number that you already have, which you rang us on yesterday. Check your own records. Then delete me!

From KITCAC

Attachment:

SC20130613-222430

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: