St Anthony For The Win


April 24, 2013 by kitcac

I lost my house keys for five days. It was a real pain in the behind. Checked everywhere. Drawers, boxes, both cars three times each. Zilch.

Got Stavros and my dad to double check everywhere.  No result.  Oh bum!

I mentioned to a lady at work that it was a bit inconvenient making sure that Stavros and I both left the house and got home at the same time to use the one set of keys we had left.  She asked why I hadn’t just got another set cut.

Duurrrr!  St Anthony of course!

Cue a very confused look.

I explained that to get a new set of keys would cost me at least a fiver and so far, I had offered St Anthony the princely sum of £1 to find my keys, so there was no point incurring £5 if I could get away with paying my mate St Tony less than £5, hopefully a quid.

This just made things more confusing so I just went home.

As I got in the car, I had a word with the Saint.  I explained that in light of the current economic climate, I would prefer not to pay £5 for a new set of keys.  However, I explained to him, I appreciated that I had only offered him £1 but I was willing to double my offer to £2, which I thought was very generous.

By the way, I was saying all of this out loud in a multi storey car park, on my own, with my window down.

I told him to have a think about it and see if there was anything he could do about my missing keys and that either way I was grateful for him taking the time to help me out as I’m sure he’s very busy.

So I drove back to Mighty Mighty Chorley.

As I sat in traffic in the sunshine, I looked over to my Dolly Parton CD and noticed some leaflets (they were from the place where I stroked that thing that turned out to be dead last week).  It was like I could hear angels going Fa La La and playing harps and stuff.  I knew the keys were behind the leaflets.  Even though we’d checked three times.  And there they chuffing were!

I still had the windows down at this point, so my fellow commuters must have been a little perplexed as to why I then waved my arms around jingling my keys shouting “I effing love you St Anthony!  Woo hoo!”

Yes, there was an actual WOO HOO in there too, just for good measure.

He always wins for me.  He is top of my list of Highly Recommended Saints.  St Anthony for the win!  Spend your £2 wisely my friend.


One thought on “St Anthony For The Win

  1. kitcac says:

    Update: I have converted a pagan to Catholicism with the help of St Anthony.
    The pagan’s sister also paid St Anthony the princely sum of £1 for help with a powerpoint presentation.
    I have recommended St Martha for any future powerpoint problems, but this may require a nine week novena and the lighting of a candle on nine consecutive Tuesdays, so plenty of prior warning of IT problems is usually needed for St M.

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