April 3, 2013 by kitcac
Dear [Name of Bakery],
On two occasions this week I have had the misfortune of being in traffic in front of your vehicles.
Your drivers seem very eager to deliver your wide range of pies and pastries, so much so that I have felt unnerved by the proximity of your vehicles to my rear end.
I can think of no reason why your vehicles would need to be driven so close to me, other than your drivers perhaps have an unnatural interest in the contents of my boot.
If knowing will stop them from threatening my behind, I can tell you right now what is in my boot:
1. Some spare screenwash from Halfords, suitable for up to -4 degrees.
2. An old towel for the dog to lie on. He is a cocker spaniel, in case your driver is bothered.
3. My vehicle breakdown information and a pen in case I need to exchange details in the event of an accident.
You will no doubt be impressed that I am prepared for all eventualities, including possible rear end shunts from vehicles owned by overpriced bakeries.