Me And My Chum Lindsay Hoyle

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March 21, 2013 by kitcac

We are both residents of Mighty Mighty Chorley. That’s quite nice.

He once came into a place I was working. I was told to keep away from him, they didn’t want me to open my trap and be all, well, “Kitcac-ish.”

The boss said, “Kitcac, can you try to avoid speaking to Lindsay Hoyle if at all possible?”

Yeah, sure, wot-evs Boss.

Alas, Lindsay Hoyle could not resist the lure of the Kitcac. Well, that’s not entirely true. He saw a picture of my dog on my desk and he started telling me about his menagerie of politically inspired pets. He was (is) a top bloke with a sense of humour that is typically Chorley. We had a nice chat. I didn’t say anything too embarrassing.

When he left, he thanked everyone for their hospitality and then he said “nice to meet you Kitcac!” and waved at me as he walked through the door, causing everyone in the office to take a sharp intake of breath and glare at me, realising that WE HAD SPOKEN.

And ever since that day, we have been what Anne of Green Gables would refer to as “bosom friends”.

Yes, we still see each other regularly. I sometimes stand next to him on Chorley market when I’m buying brocolli.  We’ve walked through Market Walk at the same time, not necessarily going in the same direction. And I rammed his ankles with JWop’s pram outside the Town Hall when I was still learning to drive the blasted thing.

Yes, I injured the ankle of the Deputy Speaker of the House of Commons. He was very nice about it.

But thats probably because we go way back.

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