My dear chum Burnside recently ordered a pizza from Dominos and they gave her the wrong pizza. Unfortunately, by a twist of fate, this meant that she also witnessed something that no-one should have to go through.
Yes, dear Reader, you guessed it. That most horrid of all combos – pineapple AND mushroom. On the same pizza! Yikes!
Well, John Howard felt compelled to do something about it so he contacted Dominos Head Office to ask them to have a heart and do something to prevent this happening in future to any other poor unsuspecting pizza-chomping souls.
This is not the subject matter of my email, but I would firstly like to point out that it should be DOMINOES not DOMINOS, unless it is a latin word that I am not aware of or if there is a person called Domino who owns the pizzeria but that is a very silly name for a person, although not a dalmatian. Which is it please?
The subject matter of my email: I am writing with regard to a problem that I think you have a corporate (and social) responsibility to address.
A friend of my wife Pat recently told us about how she had gone to visit her daughter who lives in Manchester. The daughter works in some sort of parasite-related laboratory and to all intents and purposes is doing very well for herself and as such she likes to splash out and get food delivered to her, which we rarely do here in Chorley because we have an excellent market with a variety of fresh foods available, although admittedly we do have a bit of a surplus of takeaways on Market Street, especially what I understand are colloquially known as “Kebab Houses” although I’ve never quite understood what could possibly be homely about such establishments.
It was Pat’s friend’s daughter’s husband’s birthday and due to all the festivities going on no-one fancied cooking so they’d ordered a pizza! Over the internet! Ha!
As it turns out, the pizza that was presented to them in a fancy cardboard box was not the pizza that they’d ordered. That, however, is not the cause of my grumble.
I am reliably informed that the pizza that was delivered to Pat’s friend’s daughter on the celebration of her husband’s birthday had ham, peppers, pineapple and mushroom on it. Yes. You read that right. You did. Really.
I don’t know what sort of quality control processes you have at Dominoes/Dominos but I would have thought that any right-minded person would know that there had been a serious mix up if a pizza ended up with fruit and mushrooms on it. No-one would really order that, would they?
I think that it is easily summarised as follows:
Fruit – good.
Mushrooms – good.
Fruit AND mushrooms – sheer madness.
I appreciate that you are encouraging people to get their five a day but please please PLEASE do not let this sort of thing go on again. It is improper. Under no circumstances should those two substances be in the same meal. To do so is to do a disservice to those with mature and adventurous palates.
In summary, I think that it would be prudent of you to put in place a system whereby any person ordering such a travesty of a pizza is told “NO, WE WILL NOT DO THAT AT DOMINOES/DOMINOS” and then promptly put the telephone down on them or point at the door, unmoved by their impassioned pleas for pizza with fruit and mushrooms.
This should not be difficult to accomplish. Please do let me know how you get on.