The Farmer Wants A Wife

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January 18, 2013 by kitcac

He doesn’t want to go out and meet someone nice in a disco who he can buy a kebab for and then maybe take to the cinema or Lazerquest and perhaps it’ll develop into something more and they’ll move in with each other and furnish their place with stuff from Ikea and eventually they might get married and have kids or have kids and get married or not have any kids or get married but just live with each other.

Nope, in true 1950s style, the farmer just wants a wife. He isn’t bothered about the child or the dog, that’s her thing. He just want his tea on the table and some warm slippers!

Apparently, I sing a different version of this nursery rhyme. Mine is incorrect. The correct version goes like this:

The farmer’s in his den, the farmer’s in his den
Eee eye addy oh
The farmer’s in his den.

Then the next verses are (removing the eee eyes):

The farmer wants a wife.
The wife wants a child.
The child wants a nurse.
The nurse wants a dog.
The dog wants a bone.
We all pat the bone

Anyhoo, in my version we do things differently (I honestly thought my version was correct and I think you’ll agree it makes more sense):

The farmer wants a wife.
The wife wants a child.
The child wants a dog.
The dog wants a cat.
The cat wants a mouse.
The mouse wants some cheese.
We all smell the cheese.

I think you’re on my wavelength so its fair to say that we’re cheese-sniffers rather than bone-patters/carcass-fondlers. Am I right? I’m not wrong!

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