A Carpet-Based Christmas Carol


December 19, 2012 by kitcac

We are supposed to be getting our landing and stairs carpetted on Friday, which is the day the world ends.

Understandably, I would rather be doing something else on Judgment Day than sitting in the house waiting for the carpet fitters. Like hitting a few people from The Wok List in the face with a wok.

As it turns out, our carpet may or may not be lost. One day we’re told that they have it, the next day their records show it has already been fitted. Its more of an on again off again thing than Leonard and Penny in The Big Bang Theory. I wish they’d show the repeats in chronological order!

So in honour of the Yuletide cliffhanger that is our carpet situation, I have updated the song “O Christmas Tree” for this special occasion. Please feel free to spread Christmas cheer by singing it loud for all to hear:

Verse 1

Where have you put our carpet?
I really want my carpet.

Cos Friday is th’Apocalypse
I’d rather not be waiting

These bare floors I am hating

Verse 2

We’ve no carpet on the landing
I don’t think we’re demanding

You said that you have fitted it
But floorboards we are treading

I can see where this is heading!

Verse 3

Wrong carpet in our bedroom
And no carpet in another room!

We’d really like some underlay
Before we wake on Christmas Day

Where is it, can you not say?

Verse 4

You keep saying that you’ll ring me
But no-one’s tried to ring me!

So is it lost or is it found?
Have you had a proper look around?

We just really want our carpet!

Merry Christmas one and all!


9 thoughts on “A Carpet-Based Christmas Carol

  1. Dawn Stell says:

    Hello Kitcac,

    I’m sorry to hear you’re having problems tracking down your carpet with us!

    Please could you send me your account number and post code and I will get to the bottom of this for you, hopefully get it to you in time for Christmas!

    You can reply to this message, or simply contact us through our Customer Feedback Form on our website: http://www.scs.co.uk/customer-care/.

    I look forward to hearing from you,

    Dawn, The ScS Online Team

    • kitcac says:

      Hi Dawn, thanks for taking the time to read my blog.

      Have you read my piece about double glazing? Its a hoot and a half.

      I’m afraid you can’t help me get my carpet in time for Christmas as it is now having to be re-ordered on 7th January. No one has apologised.

      We also have the wrong colour carpet in our master bedroom. We were given the correct carpet to keep in our loft if we ever feel like getting the correct one fitted, but seeing as that happened just a few weeks before the baby was due, we haven’t got round to it.

      To me, that seems like you guys have washed your hands of it, even though having one carpet a different colour to the rest of your carpets is the sort of thing that will make people’s teeth itch. And no one apologised.

      And when our third bedroom carpet was being fitted, they brought a piece that had been pre-cut too small for the room. Basically, they brought a rug. So that had to be sorted out. It was all very inconvenient. And no one apologised.

      No one rang me back yesterday, so I had to just keep on trying. And guess what? That’s right. No one apologised.

      You should change your initials from SCS to CSS. That stands for “Can’t Say Sorry.”

      • Dawn Stell says:

        Hi Kitcac,

        Sorry to hear about that bad experience you have had with your carpet order, although we did love your carol. I hope the situation is sorted on 7th January, if not please do get in touch and I will find a solution for you.

        Many thanks,


      • kitcac says:

        Fa la la la la….

        Checks calendar to see if its 7th January yet. Mmmm hmmmm.

        Checks phone to see if anyone has called. Mmmmm hmmmm.

        Checks bare floorboards to see if there’s any sign of a carpet. Mmmm hmmm.

  2. Dawn Stell says:

    Hello Kitcac,

    Are you still waiting for your carpets? Please do let me know if you are and I can look into this for you.

    Many thanks,


    • kitcac says:

      No one bothered to ring us on 7th Jan, or on any date at all. So after waiting for a further two weeks (to give SCS the benefit of the doubt – again) Mr Kitcac went into the store to find out what was going on, as ringing just means they fob us off with promises to call back. It never happens.

      When he went in the staff were totally indifferent and yet again failed to apologise. This time the story changed from “we’ve lost your carpet” and “are you sure you don’t have it” to being told “we sent your carpet back because you hadn’t arranged the fitting”.

      I can smell something a bit, well, farmyardy.

      Then we were told that they have just gone ahead and re-ordered it anyway. Who knows what might turn up, if it does in fact turn up!

      We’ve now arranged for someone to be here on Friday 1st Feb for the fitting but SCS can’t say a time and will only say that they’ll “probably fit it in the afternoon”.

      Hardly fills me with confidence that anyone will bother to turn up. At this rate I fear I may be composing an Easter-themed SCS song.

      On a positive note, we’ve been paying for the carpet for a year, so it might be paid for in full by the time it is fitted.

      • kitcac says:

        Well Dawny-Doo, well well well (you don’t mind me calling you Dawny-Doo, do you? I feel like we go way back as we’ve been penpals for so long).

        Two lovely chaps turned up to fit our SCS carpet.

        Alas, twas the wrong colour and not the harder-wearing type we ordered. Still, SCS gave us the option of having the (wrong) carpet fitted, seeing as they were here and all.

        That kind of defeats the object of actually CHOOSING a carpet from your extensive range instore. If we weren’t arsed about which carpet turns up, surely we’d just fill in a form that has boxes for you to tick. It would have the heading “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” and a list of stuff, like this:

        Cheese? No.
        Cuddly toy? No.
        A decanter and glasses? No.
        Golf clubs? No.
        Carpet? TICK!

        Then there’d be a section called “WHAT COLOUR DO YOU WANT?” and it would have these options:

        Red? No.
        Blue? No.
        Beige? No.
        Green? No.
        Not arsed about the colour? TICK!

        I really think, dearest Dawny-Doo, that you should roll out my idea for this amazing form across SCS stores. It would revolutionise the carpet/golf club/cheese industry.

  3. a carpet of snow handles the floor

    the sweet sound of caroling is heard everywhere you go

    xmas trees, lights and decorations

    family members bonding

    december is the best month of all

    • kitcac says:

      That’s all very interesting, if not a little like closing the barn door after the horse has bolted.

      Do you have any songs about waiting till you’re drawing your pension to get your (three different shades of) carpet fitted and then finding that they’ve provided the cheapo underlay the shop told you not to buy?

      You know, the much cheaper nastier underlay that is like walking on bubble wrap? Got any songs about that, pal?

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