This Little Piggy Ate Roast Beef

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November 9, 2012 by kitcac

I have a real problem with the pig eating beef.

I sometimes can’t sleep after doing the wee-wee-wee thing with JWop, that is how disturbed I am about the pig eating beef.  I have four main gripes with it.  Its not a dilemma, but rather a quadlemma.

Firstly, roast beef doesn’t rhyme with anything else in the ditty, so it doesn’t have to be beef that the pig eats.  In theory, the pig could eat anything it fancies.  Lentils, perhaps?  This little piggy ate lentils sounds absolutely fine.  I made Stavros say lentils tonight, to reduce my anguish.  It went unnoticed and JWop still had a lot of fun.  Everyone’s a winner with lentils.

Secondly, if the pig is eating the roast beef because there are leftovers, then in this age of austerity it would make far more sense for the person giving the beef to the pig to make roast beef sandwiches instead and take them to work as a packed lunch rather than feeding it to the pig.  Meat is expensive!

Thirdly, after the mad cow disease outbreak, enquiries concluded that bovine spongiform encephalopathy was caused by herbivorous animals being fed the remains of cattle.  So that is scientific proof that pigs should really not be eating roast beef.

Then my final point (I got there eventually).

When he is older, I want to explain to JWop were food comes from and in time he’ll know that cows make beef (maybe I’ll sing that song by Phoebe in Friends which goes on about “grinding up the cow and that’s how we make hamburgers”.  Or maybe not).

Regardless of how its explained to him, I’m not too thrilled about the prospect of JWop playing with a toy farm in years to come and acting out having the pigs form a pack and then attack, maim and eat the cow for their piggy breakfast.  Hmmm?

We all know that Old McDonald had a farm.  There was lots of ee eye ee eye ohing going on.  I sincerely hope that the ee eye ee eye ohing was not the sound of a cow being savaged by a pig.

After all, farmyard carnage is not the sort of thing to sing and dance about.

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