Can I Help You?

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November 9, 2012 by kitcac

Today I went to Knutsford, which is rather posh.  I went in two lovely independent shops with my pal Benno and little JWop.

We were the only customers in both of the shops.  And we were completely ignored in both of the shops.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to make friends or talk to supermarket cashiers about my avocados (not a euphemism), but I would like to be acknowledged.

It is not hard to say “let me know if I can help you with anything”.  This is helpful but detached.  I like detached.  I like it a lot.

Just try to notice that I’m there, with my purse, with money in it.  I might even spend it in your shop.  (I don’t even have to ask my husband if its ok, wink wink).

On the other hand, I get rather fractious in shops if the shop assistants follow me round.  I am not going to rob you, your clothes are fugly!

Its particularly bad when they lurk and watch you from a middle distance but they never come close enough for you to speak to them to ask a question, which is what you’re actually building up the courage to do.

Admit it, you have stood in a shop and thought “I want this item in a different size/colour and I want to ask this assistant because I have looked on every inch of shelf and rail in this entire store, but I know that if I ask the question, the answer is going to be the same parroted reply that I get in every shop, ever”.

You know it.  Admit it.  You know what the reply is going to be.

EVERYTHING WE HAVE IS OUT.

Honestly?

Do deliveries come in every single time with exactly the number of items to fit on the shelf?  Is there not a single retail establishment in the entire British Isles that has a storeroom with ONE THING in it?

Shouldn’t the Guinness Book of Records be notified of this phenomenon?

EVERYTHING WE HAVE IS OUT.

This means that either they have 1) no storeroom or 2) an empty storeroom or 3) staff that cannot be arsed to stop their conversation about how hammered they were last night to go and check if they have what I want to buy in their storeroom.

Which one could it possibly be?  Place bets now!

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