October 7, 2012 by kitcac
I am signed up to freecycle emails because, lets face it, who am I to pass up an offer of free stuff.
Free stuff is especially interesting if the person offering it advertises the item in such a way that no person in their right mind would want it.
I was very keen on an item that I read about recently which was described in such derogatory terms that I thought to myself “I HAVE TO HAVE IT”.
Here’s what the advert said:
Item: Cheap-looking pink watch
Description: I got a watch of (sic) my mum for Christmas. It looks cheap but it has numbers (not dots or numerals). Its pink and the straps about an inch thick. I can post it to you for free but my mum doesn’t like strangers coming to the house.
What a marketing ploy! You want it too, don’t you?!
Let’s just take a moment to analyse the advert and see how we have been tempted by the item. It is like the offerer has a GCSE in Business and Marketing.
1. It looks cheap.
That just sounds gorgeous without being vulgar. I hope that it was from Claire’s Accessories or maybe Poundland.
2. It has numbers, not dots or numerals.
This is very helpful for those of us who don’t understand how to tell the time without numbers (ie those of us who forget how many hours are mentioned on a clock). If you can see the numbers, the chances that you will need to ring the talking clock are greatly reduced. Numbers rule! Dots suck!
3. Its pink.
Well, that’s just adorable.
4. The straps about an inch thick.
Hmmm, this might be an issue for those dainty-of-wrist. It could be a bit overpowering.
5. I can post it to you for free.
Excellent! With fuel prices as they are, any reduction in unnecessary journeys is a bonus to all freecyclers!
6. My mum doesn’t like strangers coming to the house.
Hmmm, this is a bit suspicious. Does your mum know that you’re giving away your Christmas gift on freecycle? Is that why we aren’t allowed to call for you? Would it be possible to get your Easter Eggs too because I am a big fan of the Wispa ones.
I actually sent this girl a very smarmy message saying how lovely it sounded and that I’d really like it. I presume its a girl, but maybe its a 20 something young professional male who doesn’t like clumpy pink watches?
Alas, I think it was lost in the post.
Either that or she had hundreds of takers and, realising the potential value, she decided to Ebay it instead.