Things I Have Realised

1

October 1, 2012 by kitcac

I got a load of hassle from my sister a few years ago when I realised that forcefields do not actually exist.

Deirdre was convinced for a long time (because of me) that Chepstow was not a real place but had been invented by geography teachers for the purposes of mock exam questions.  She realised when she was driving along the motorway and saw a sign for Chepstow.  So yes, she was old enough to drive before she realised.

Today, I was singing the ABC song to JWop and wondered to myself “I wonder where does the word Alphabet come from?”  Oh em gee, I realised (quite quickly) that it must be from Alpha and Beta.  Amazing!  I taught myself something!

I also had a Road to Damascus type realisation the other day when I was driving to Ikea.

I was going picking up my chum on the way and the road to her house had been newly tarmacked.  Oh it was so beautiful and smoooooooth.  I really do like a newly tarmacked road.  They make me want to rollerskate.

There is an excellent strip of lovely smooth road at Gidlow Cemetery in Standish which is excellent for roller-skating along.  I know because that used to be my patch for the purposes of roller-skating.

My roller-skates were fab-u-lous.  They were bright bright pink.  They were brighter than the eyes of an albino rabbit.

I remember when I got them, I went to a roller disco with my mum.  She wore a mint green jumpsuit and we did a bit of roller-skating to the hits of the 80s, seeing as it was the 80s.  How cool is that?!!  We still talk fondly about that jumpsuit.

I used to wear a matching pink outfit with my skates, unless all my pink stuff was in the wash.  Occasionally, Deirdre and I would wear our Bros Jeans and go roller-skating.  Yes, you read that right.

Bros.  On Jeans.  The faces of Matt, Luke and Craig.  On Jeans.

Deirdre would sometimes wear her Bros Jeans whilst pogo-ing.  She was the best pogo-stick bouncer in the whole of Chorley.  I am serious.  If there had been a contest organised by the Chorley Guardian, she would have won it.

She could easily do 600 pogos.  She’d get off the pogo stick after a marathon pogo-ing session and wouldn’t be able to walk in a straight line because of the pogo-ing-jelly-legs.  Our parents would say “Where’s Deirdre?” and I’d say “She’s pogo-ing.  She’s been pogo-ing for hours.”

Man alive, we were cool!

So back to roller-skates.  We’d get out our roller-skates and we’d wear some snazzy outfit, perhaps lycra cycling shorts with the pink stripes down the sides to co-ordinate with the roller-skates and we’d head down to the cemetery to have roller-skating races and do some spins and all that shizzle on the nice smooth tarmac.  Sometimes Deirdre would take her pogo stick.

It was only when driving to Ikea that I realised that this roller-skating/pogo-ing display between the headstones could have been slightly inappropriate.

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One thought on “Things I Have Realised

  1. Sarah says:

    If this Monday even tries to get me down, I will picture you and your sissy roller skating/pogo-ing in the cemetery. (In those jeans!) 😀

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