You Seem To Have Forgotten Your Baby

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September 30, 2012 by kitcac

I hate supermarkets.  I hate parking my car.  I hate parking my car at supermarkets.

Even though JWop is now nearly six months old, I still do a whoop whoop noise when I realise that I have a baby in the car and can pretty much park wherever the hell I like!  Except the disabled spots and the bus stop and the pick up point.  But other than that – whoop whoop!

So imagine my chagrin when I pulled up at the supermarket today and couldn’t get parked in the parent and child spaces.  That is officially Bang Out Of Order.

OK, so I didn’t have the baby with me today but it would have been nice to park closer to the shop because it had just started spitting.

As I walked in, I saw a big 4×4 pull up and a family got out.  The “children” in the family looked old enough to get the Megabus by themselves down to London for a quid, if not apply for their provisional driving licences.  Again, that is Bang Out Of Order.

That sort of thing makes me very ragey.

A few weeks ago, we parked in the parent and child spaces at the same time as a couple a few spaces away.  I saw that as I grabbed my baby from his car seat, they just got out of their car and walked away.  Oh em geeez, they’ve left the baby locked in the car!

Well, obviously not.

It was clear that they hadn’t forgotten the baby as they didn’t have a helpful sign in the car saying “Mummy’s Little Prince/Princess On Board”.

Please don’t do that, those signs are awful beyond words and serve no purpose.  I know people say its for the emergency services to see if your baby is in the car but surely the fire brigade will see a baby or a car seat or a pram before they locate the “Cheeky Monkey On Board” sign in the vehicle which is only suckered onto the window with a bit of spit.  That is because people who are in the emergency services usually have eyes.  Its on their application forms – “Applicants Must Have Eyes”.

So back to this couple.  They sauntered off towards the shop and I couldn’t help myself – I shouted “You’ve forgotten your baybeeeeeeeee!”

They (unconvincingly) pretended not to hear me.

What annoys me most is that they didn’t even pretend to have a baby in the car with them.  They didn’t have one of those dolls that wees and they didn’t pretend that they’d locked the baby in the boot as a punishment.

They could have made a big show out of talking in a nasty voice into the opening of the boot saying “stay there you little £$% and keep quiet or I’ll take you out of there and tie you to the roofrack!”

At least then I would have given them a few points for artistic effort.


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