September 30, 2012 by kitcac
Poor Nicole Sherzwhatever.
No-one actually knows how to spell her name. Not even Lewis Hamilton. But that’s probably because he’s only twelve. Do you think he goes “nyyyyyyyaaaaarrrr” when driving? I hope so.
Well tonight she has made a Bad Choice. She picked Rylan. She should not have done that. Mainly because he tried to dress up like Kylie. It did not look good.
Some people have tried to persuade me to put Nicole Sherzwhatever on The Wok List. Alas, she is a pretty little thing and I couldn’t possibly bop her in the face with a wok. And I like how she says “Sing your heart out” to the contestants.
Initially I typed that badly and it came out as “Sin your heart out”. I suspect that might be the motto of Louis Walsh.
Despite the horror of the realisation that we will have to tolerate Rylan next week (please baby Jesus, let him go home in week one), there have been some positives to tonight’s episode of X Factor.
I am thrilled to announce that I have been introduced to two more new names for Nicole. She can now be referred to by any of the following options:
1. Nicole Sherzwhatever.
2. Nicole Shirt-Slinger (nice one Joolishous!)
3. Nicole Shit-Singer.
4. Nicole Zinger-Tower-Burger.
Many thanks to Kev and Jonny for 3 and 4. You are inspirational people. God bless you.
I think that I am going to order a Nicole Zinger Tower Burger Meal next time I go to KFC. With a side of coleslaw and a bottle of Tango.
If you have a name for Nicole, please please for the love of all that is holy, let me know!