Deal or No Deal? No Deal!

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September 30, 2012 by kitcac

I hate Deal or No Deal with a passion.

The contestants get all pally-pally with each other and cry and say how much they deserve it and they keep their friends’ boxes till last as if that is going to make a difference.  IT ISN’T!

And sometimes, to really annoy me, they do that chant that is stupid beyond stupid.

BLUE! BLUE! BLUE! BLUE! BLUE!

Your positive mental attitude is not going to mean that your mate over there has the 1p.  It’s not going to change what is in his box.  IT ISN’T!

And what is with the photos?  Holding the photo or rubbing it or licking it or whatever is not going to put £250k in your box.  IT ISN’T!

It is a random number in a random box.  That’s it.

The dressing-up episodes are the worst thing to ever happen in the history of the world.  Worse than the plague.

See what I mean:

Looking at that is worse than the plague.

Alas, my mum loves Deal or No Deal.  Sometimes, when I know its about to come on, I will make excuses to go home (even declining offers of cake) to make sure I don’t have to subject myself to it.

The worst part is that occasionally she will be watching it on catch-up TV, so I can’t always ensure that it isn’t going to be on the TV when I’m there.  In these circumstances, she won’t just sit and watch it, oh no.  She’ll fast forward through the box opening part to the deal part.

I really hate the deal part.

To relieve the agony of the deal part, I like to imagine that the banker has a high pitched voice or talks like Kenneth Williams.  Or that it is a recording of Noel Edmonds himself.  That would be weird.

“The banker says he likes your style” or other such drivel really get on my wick.  The banker honestly couldn’t care less.  If he is actually bothered (because lets face it, its not his money that he’s dealing with) then the banker needs to get a hobby.

Despite hating Deal or No Deal with every fibre of my being, I have managed to acquire some (not so) interesting trivia about it:

1.  In some countries, there are more than 22 boxes.  Wow-eeeee!

2.  In Spain, some of the boxes contain fruit such as kiwi or pineapple.  Bet you didn’t know that.  I did.

3.  A board game of Deal or No Deal is available from selected stockists.  Kill me now.

4.  In Nigeria, John Fashanu is the host of Deal or No Deal.  Awoooga!  By the way, never say Awooga to Kris Akabusi, he gets very upset.

Unfortunately, my Deal or No Deal trivia is utterly useless as I will never go on the programme and it is unlikely that these questions will ever crop up on a pub quiz.

I just can’t win.

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