September 28, 2012 by kitcac
Stavros brought home a copy of 50 Shades. That is a sentence I never thought I would type.
Its just so…..wrong. And weird.
I made a promise to myself that I would never let my decent-book-reading-eyes be poisoned by that book. Yes lots of people have read it and said its brilliant but seriously, just no.
I am a bit of a book snob. I really do judge a book by its cover.
If its got pink or pastel swirly writing on the front, sorry its not for me.
If its got a cartoon drawing of a woman holding a glass of wine/shopping bag/mobile phone, sorry its not for me.
If its got “something-aholic” or a reference to shopping, fairies or cake in the title, sorry, not for me thanks.
If Tesco have a great big display of a thousand of them at the front door, with grey ties all over it, again, bye bye, I’m not reading that.
I haven’t read Harry Potter. At the time the books came out, 50% of commuters on my train who were reading books would be reading Harry Potter. Can you imagine the horror if, god forbid, a stranger on my train started A CONVERSATION with me because we were both reading the same thing? Oh the horror! I don’t want any excuse for people on trains to think I might be someone to speak to.
So I stick to things that other people are not really likely to be reading. Ones that aren’t usually in the chart section of Tesco basically.
Recently, someone asked me what book I was reading. The answer was “Kazuo Ishiguro’s last novel. Its about cloning”. Result – end of conversation. Yay!
Back to 50 Shades.
Its more than disturbing when friends of your parents say that they’ve read it. I don’t want to ever think about that.
I told Stavros that there was no way on God’s earth that I would read 50 Shades. He had been given it by someone at work (inappropriate much?)
When I said I would never read it he said “OK, I’ll read it then and let you know what its like”
Through the laughter, I managed to say “Right, so you’re going to read some bad porn to review for me are you?”
“Its not that bad is it?”
I replied “Errr, Stavros, its a load of S&M”
“S&M? Really”. He looked a bit confused. He was clearly oblivious to the whole spanky thing in the book.
“Yes Stav, S&M as in Sado-masochism”.
Then he explained what he thought it was about.
Apparently he “thought it was a modern day Lady Chatterley’s Lover. Not gimp masks and barbed wire on willies.”