Mummy Can’t Come to the Phone Right Now

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September 3, 2012 by kitcac

I was at my parents’ house this afternoon with JWop when their phone started to ring.

Mother was outside and hadn’t heard it.  My Dad was not for getting up.  He actually said to JWop “let the telephonist get it”, which meant me.

Having hoicked myself up off the sofa to answer it, I heard the familiar pause before the crackle of a call centre kicked in.  I had been loafing on the sofa eating chocolate and drinking coffee and had been interrupted for a sales call – grrrr!

The chap then said “Hi my name is Jason [no Jason, it bladdy isn’t].  Is this Mrs Blah Blah”

My reply: “No”.

Jason (not really Jason):  “Can I speak to [incorrectly pronounced name] Blah Blah”.

Me:  “That’s not her name”.

Fair enough, its a Portuguese name that isn’t straight forward to pronounce, but did I mention that I’d been eating chocolate and drinking coffee and had to get off the sofa?

At this point, my Mum came back in and tried to take the phone from me.  I wasn’t having any of it.

Poor Jason (not really Jason) then asked me if he could speak to my Mum again, at which point I told him “She’s asleep right now.  She has had an awful lot to drink today”.

I told Jason to ring back in the morning before my Mum gets too drunk.  He can then do his “lifestyle survey” with her.

I once got a call from a poor guy who wanted to do a lifestyle survey, which unfortunately for him involved some really personal questions.  And when I say personal, I mean the sort of “too much information” stuff that you don’t even discuss with close friends.  I was cringeing giving him the answers.

Thinking back, that guy could just have been a frickin’ pervert!  I can’t believe I have only just realised this!  I feel violated!


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