August 20, 2012 by kitcac
I am very interested in what happens in this room when people come round to visit.
Is the visitor forced to sit in the Mastermind chair whilst being grilled? I think that this is something I will adopt when JWop brings home his first girlfriend/boyfriend (who knows, but we will call the prospective in law Chardonnay for ease of reference).
It will go a bit like this:
Me: So Chardonnay, take a seat (I am glaring intently).
Chardonnay goes to sit on the sofa.
Me: No, not on the sofa. You sit in the corner. (points to Mastermind chair with spotlight shining on it).
Chardonnay sits. The leather on the chair makes a fart noise. No one laughs because I am still glaring.
Me: So Chardonnay, what are your intentions with JWop? (glares at Chardonnay who is starting to sweat).
Chardonnay: Well, erm, like, erm, we was just gonna go to the cinema (I expect no one will call it “the pictures” in the 2030s).
Me: And what were you going to see?
Chardonnay: We was gonna watch Step Up 72.
Me: Ah yes, I remember Step Up 1, 2, 3 and 4. (recalls them fondly with a wistful look but then goes back to glaring).
Chardonnay by now is a puddle of sweat.
Me: Chardonnay, you are sweating profusely on my leather chair. Don’t you realise I have had that chair for nearly 20 years? I got it from Dunelm Mill. Its a design classic.
Chardonnay: I’m, like, erm, really sorry like but its proper hot under this light.
Me: Get out (points to door, Chardonnay pegs it).
Ahhhhh, I can’t wait!