Wrongmove – my dirty little secret


July 29, 2012 by kitcac

Since we started renovating the House of Hooks, I have become addicted to looking at interior design magazines, so much so that Stavros and I now call it “House Porn”.

At around £4 per magazine, this addiction was getting quite costly, especially as I was often buying two or three a week at the train station. Thats roughly £576 a year. Its the equivalent of 192 pints of lager, or more if you happen to be available to partake of a few at Happy Hour.

So in a nutshell, it had to stop. I had to go cold turkey. Its been a long road, but I have been clean for over a year now.

If I ever feel the familiar itchiness, the urgent need to have just one look at Ideal Home’s top ten hallway storage solutions, I have a stash of old House Porn that I can go to. Its well-thumbed.

And I have come to realise that the House Porn Addiction has evolved. Its developed into an unnatural interest in Rightmove.

I have no need whatsoever to look at Rightmove, but like many others out there (we meet in abandoned buildings and speak in hushed tones), I admit to logging on to look at my neighbours’ houses. Or the parents’ neighbours’ houses. Or the inlaws’ neighbours’ houses.

To my horror, I clicked on a link a few months back to discover that my inlaws’ neighbours don’t even have a lampshade up in their bedroom! Its a NAKED BULB! In this day and age, there’s really no excuse for that sort of behaviour.

On occasion, I’ve also been horrified at some of the terrible home accessories that people have. And boy, have I found some.

Take the picture below. Hands up who would want to face that fella at a dinner party? No-one? Anyone?

I would have to feign digestive discomfort and get out of there as soon as possible if faced with a sarcophagus watching me eat my prawn cocktail.  At least they’ve got a well-stocked wine rack.

Dining Room

I have also had burned in my memory a house in which every room had Disney characters and pink curtains. Regrettably, it appears that this house has been snapped up before I had the chance to put an offer in.

Our master bedroom at the House of Hooks hasn’t been renovated yet but when we get round to it, I hope that we’ll be able to source some bedside lamp things just like these badboys (are they lamps? what the fudge are they?). And I need to get myself some skin-toned satin sheets too.

Picture No.10

So whilst my addiction to House Porn is under control (for now), I really can’t help myself when it comes to looking on Rightmove.

It would make my unhealthy interest in Rightmove far less time-consuming if they could create a sub-page entitled “Wrongmove” which advertises all the houses with dodgy accessories in them.

Unfortunately, Rightmove won’t take my calls about this suggestion, so I am going to have to blogging well blog about it so that other like-minded individuals can enjoy these guilty pleasures.


2 thoughts on “Wrongmove – my dirty little secret

  1. Deirdre says:

    Er herm, I have a cream one of these lamps in my dining room!!!

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